Updated: Jun 10, 2020
Peace is definitely a gift. More than a gift, it's a well earned prize. It is the confirmation that we have attained mastery. That we have become the person we always wanted to be or were meant to be.
Peace is the sign that we are congruent with who we are.
Sadly peace doesn't come naturally or at least it didn't for me. It came disguised as illnesses.
From age 15, I suffered from various health difficulties ranging from Hepatitis B to Crohn's disease to Lyme disease. I am convinced now it was the same and only disease taking different shape or form to show me and guide me towards the path of peace.
I will not share my age but needless to say that it took me a while to know how love and accept myself sufficiently for all trace of disease to disappear from my physical body.
Rather than a curse it has actually been a gift, fuelling the search for understanding and healing.
It has made me the person I am today, the wife, the mother, the therapist and the friend.
There is not a facet of who I am that hasn't been transformed by the gift of illness.
The transformational steps from illness to peace
Illness has the aptitude to stop you in your tracks, to slow you right down. It's painful! The idea that you have of the life you want to live is not being supported by your body and you need to retract, cancel and readjust against your will! What a blow to the ego! What an inconvenience to the established plans we had for ourselves and our life.
Grieving is an important and unavoidable aspect of suffering from Chronic Disease.
Grieving is acceptance that we are unable to fulfil the plans we had of the life we wanted to live.
It's the sadness, the guilt, the shame of not being able to, of letting others down, of not being adequate because we can't be, our life force is diminished.
Grieving is not feeling sorry for ourselves, although this is maybe the first part of grieving, it's important to not be swallowed by the story, by the feeling of powerlessness or victimisation, because then no transformation, no change can happen and we stay stuck and that really sucks.
Grieving is handing over what is out of our control and accepting what we can't change, for now and allowing ourselves to feel how it feels, no judgement, no rush, no pressure to feel differently, total acceptance.
Learning to accept what is, is a great step toward healing.
With acceptance comes the end of fighting, Fighting is exhausting. It is the equivalent of pressing on the accelerator pedal in the car having forgotten to put it into gear. It's noisy and energy consuming for not much results. It pollutes our thoughts.
Making peace with our bodies is essential to healing and peace comes with acceptance.
Acceptance is by no means giving up, it's deciding to make friends with ourselves, to give space to what is happening without making it wrong. It frees us to start discovering what is going on and what is the body trying to tell us using the illness, the discomfort and the pain as the messenger.
Our body, linking us between heaven and earth is the most spiritual tool we have to evolve.
In 2015, I realised I couldn't keep up with my life, I had to cancel clients so often because I couldn't get out of bed, I had reached total exhaustion. The parasites, the bacterial overload, the viruses, the mould infection were having a ball inside my gut, my organs and my blood.
How could they live there? Why were they free to take over? Why was my immune system not able to recognise what needed to be detoxified from my body?
There was an overload inside and outside of my body, in my life.
I realised that that Lyme disease I was suffering from was telling me to stop the Ly(to)me habits I forged since a young age in order to fit into society and that it was time to not only accept and love who I was but to stop doing anything that wasn't in integrity with who I was.
This wasn't a new discovery, I had been on the healing path for a while, I just needed to go to the next level of loving myself enough so that it would outweigh the fear to disappoint others. My birth script of being born the wrong sex and the disappointment my family felt, even if it was brief, had an impact on my belief systems, my unconscious thoughts and my autonomic nervous systems , making me feel somewhat unsafe.
Discovering is being present enough so you notice when you are not in integrity with your needs and desires.
Discovering is being in a constant inquiry . Asking yourself how am I feeling? What is it that I need right now? What was the highlight of my day today? What would I do differently?
Discovering is a gentle, non judgmental process where compassion and patience are essential to transformation. It requires time, honesty and dedication to the intention of living in truth. Fulfilling our deepest desire connects us to the universe and it is for us to discover what it is. What a joy when we do!
I believe that if each and every one of us where "adult" enough to take responsibility in fulfilling our needs, there would be peace on earth. Really there would be because when we do then
anger, rage, hopelessness disappears and a sense of safety and security takes over.
It is the first important step to calming our Autonomic Nervous System down.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), this fulfilment lives in our kidney/ adrenals meridian . It takes courage to say to ourselves and to the world who we are without the fear of being judged, without being labeled with the shaming concept that we are being selfish!
Fear and courage are typical emotions of the Water element in TCM (bladder/kidney)
How can we be in the world without being self full? If there is only a part of us in us relationships become complicated, we cannot be present if we are not here!
Fulfilment also means to own and accept how we feel, honouring the good and the so called bad emotions. It is in the chaos of feeling low, confused and lost that the new you can be created.
The gift of love
Love is the most powerful energy there is. Only love exists and every thing else is illusion.
Have you ever tried if you are feeling anxious to connect with your heart? Fear and doubt disappear, they are not there! They are the creation of your thoughts only living in your head.
It is quite astounding when you think of it!
The healing goal of therapies is to let go of the protection and the unhelpful beliefs that prevent us from accepting and loving who we are.
This doesn't mean that we accept to be less than who we want to be but it frees the space to evolve into the beings we really are, peaceful , loving human being. Only our wounds can make us toxic to the world.
All we need is love, our greatest suffering comes from not knowing how to love.
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